My baby had this rattle which she really liked to chew on.  It looked like this:



It's made of woven plastic wire thingys.  You can almost see inside to discover what's making the rattling sound, but not quite.  So I checked the Internet, and discovered that they often contain a bottle cap and two beans.  Not good!  Bottle caps leach rust into a baby's mouth, and beans teach them that dried beans (or "rustic beans") are edible without soaking.  The baby gets addicted to un-moistened foods, and ends up eating dry pasta and bouillon cubes her whole life.  Sad.

I cut it open to discover:



A bottle cap and THREE beans!  That's right, she got an extra bean.  This is definitive proof that my baby is better than other babies. 50% better, to be precise.  And that bottle cap is from Superior, a nice Mexican beer, enjoyed by banditos (and li'l bandidas) for its many atributos superiores.  What a coincidence!  My child has lots of those, too, and her bubbly personality is cool and refreshing on a hot summer day.

So thank you, homemade rattle.  I no longer need to fret about what will be my baby's first beer.  Of course, no cerveza for bebé until she's old enough.  She doesn't even have teeth yet.  How would she open the bottle?