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Sieviete datorterminos
Cietā diska sieviete:
Tā atceras vienmēr un uz mūžiem.
RAM sieviete:
Viņa aizmirst par tevi, tikko tu viņu izslēdz.
WINDOWS sieviete:
Katrs zina, ka tā neko nevar normāli izdarīt, bet neviens bez tās nevar dzīvot
EXCEL sieviete:
Viņa saka, ka var tik daudz izdarīt, bet tu viņu izmanto tikai pamatvajadzībām.
SCREENSAVER (ekrānsaudzētāja) sieviete:
Viņa nekam neder, bet vismaz ir jautri.
Interneta sieviete:
Grūti pieejama.
Servera sieviete:
Vienmēr aizņemta, kad tev to vajag.
Multimēdiju sieviete:
Dara neidomājamas lietas, izskatoties brīnišķīga.
CD-ROM sieviete:
Tā vienmēr ir ātrāka un ātrāka.
E-mail sieviete:
10 lietas tā pasaka un astoņas no tām ir muļķības.
Vīrusa sieviete:
Pazīstama kā "SIEVA". Kad tu to negaidi, tā nāk, uzinstalējot sevi un izmantojot visus tavus resursus. Ja tu mēģini to noinstalēt, tu daudz ko zaudēsi. Bet ja tu to nemēģināsi tāpat zaudēsi.- 1 4
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It's best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.- 2 2
Why I Love Her...
A guy is sitting in a bar with his friends bitching about going home to his wife.
His friends ask him why he doesn't want to go home to such a fine looking woman and he replies...
"Well, the problem is that she has Gonnorrhea"
So what say the friends, flip her over.
"Well, she also has diarrhea" the guy says.
"Yuck, but what about her mouth." The friends chime in.
"Halitosis" the man says.
"Damn, Why would you stay with her?" The friends say.
"Well," the guy replies "She also has worms, and you guys know how I like to fish."- 2 2
Where Babies Come From?
One afternoon a little girl excitedly approached her mother, and announced that she had learned where babies come from at school that day. Amused, her mother replied, "Really, sweetie? Why don't you tell me all about it?"
The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thing sort of stands up, and the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's where babies come from."
Her mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye to eye, and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from. That's where jewelry comes from."- 3 1
Three Guys Share A Bed...
Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.
In the morning, the guy on the right said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"
The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I"
Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"