- Ko dara kanibāls pēc tam kad pamet savu draudzeni?
- Noslauka pakaļu !

A girl in a bar said to me, "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last person alive."

Leaning over and whispering, I replied, "But who would be around to stop me?"

Wiped the smug look off her face.

I don't know what's happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare - you don't know whether to carry sweets or money.

Vīrietis ieiet bārā un pasūta 100 gramus šnabja, jo viņa alkohola atkarība izputināja viņa ģimeni un karjeru !

Meitene – puisim:
- Tad rītvakar satiksimies turpat, kur šodien! Bet ja kāds no mums kavēsies...
Puisis:
- ...tad es pagaidīšu!

- Mīl, nemīl, mīl, nemīl...
- Dakter, lieciet mierā manus zobus!

Puisis zvana meitenei un prasa
- Tev labāk garšo banāni vai zemenes? Meitene pretī
- Ko, Tu no tirgus vai zvani?
- Nē, no aptiekas…

Glench: as the temperature of lesbians approaches absolute zero, they cease to exist
Glench: let me demonstrate
Glench: here we have a google search for hot lesbians
Glench: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22hot+lesbians%22
Glench: ~1.4 million results
Glench: cool lesbians: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22cool+lesbians%22
Glench: 2,500 results
Glench: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22cold+lesbians%22
Glench: 321 results
Glench: for cold lesbians
Glench: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22absolute+zero+lesbians%22
Glench: 0 results
Glench: theory: PROVEN
TwoDaemon: ... that is simultaneously so logical and so awesomely retarded.

-Kas kopīgs dārzniekiem un gejiem?
-Viņi abi savas sēklas sēj sūdos ! :D

Šon ofisā viens āmurs apsēdās pie datora.
Es tjip vinjam pasaku "uz augšu", domadams lai pa-scrollo lappusi uz augšu!
Tas ceļ pelīti augšā no galda un skatās man stulbi acīs :D