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Марусель 6 (7876)29106 9 лет
Being a student of the State University of Management and studying advertising and public relations, I came to the next/following conclusion. To become a highly qualified PR-manager and to be demanded on the labor market, it is necessary to get theoretical knowledge and practical experience from those countries, where these disciplines have been studied and taught for longer time.
To my mind, studying marketing and PR abroad would give me precious experience of/from our European colleagues in these spheres and would let me examine them from different sides, but not only through the prism of the Russian mentality. I am sure, that in my future career I will be able to use received knowledge and experience more successfully and effectively. And, as the result, I will be able to influence my employer-company’s competitiveness in the best way.
The following point is this trip would also help me to practice my speaking skills and business English. Both of these aspects of knowing the language are extremely important for the specialist in my section. Moreover, PR and marketing are constantly developing sciences. That is why, to maintain my professional abilities and skills, I should read foreign science literature and results of some new researches and experiments.
In conclusion I would like to add, that good reputation of high quality education standards of SUM’s partner universities, an extremely distinguished faculty members and research facilities are the additional factors which have motivated me to apply for the exchange program.
Вот так - пару слов убрала, бару добавила, оставила пару варианта, чтобы язык звучал более академичным.
А так очень неплохо написан текст.
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Meccep 6 (8387)2731 9 лет
Всё русицизмы, калька с русского. Побоятся, что взаимопонимания не будет. Дочитают до половины. Сократи и предложи лайв комюникейшн в видео мессенджере.
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Augusto 4 (1094)25 9 лет
я бы поменял пару мест:
get theoretical knowledge and practical experience in countries, where
And, as a result, I
The next point is this trip -