It's a bird, it's a plane... No wait, it's the flying fuck I don't give.

Yelling "Whore!" in a public place and watching 15 girls turn.

I leave homework till the last minute, because I'll be older and therefore wiser.

Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.

It takes 11 muscles to smile. It takes 12 muscles to frown. And 0 muscles to... not give a fuck

Respect old people: they graduated highschool without google or wikipedia.

When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but as soon as I'm busy, BAM... still nobody texts me

The only reason why I'm agreeing with you is so you can shut the fuck up.